Sharing your story and boundaries over and over again can be exhausting. However, having honest conversations with your loved ones can help them understand your experiences.
General Tips for Talking to Family, Friends, and Neighbors.
Start with empathy.
Many people may not be familiar with Long COVID, but if you acknowledge the differences in understanding and have patience, you can provide an opportunity for learning and connection.
Explain your lived experience.
Sharing honestly how Long COVID has impacted your life will help others see your experience more clearly and concretely.
Ask for understanding.
Energy and health can fluctuate unpredictably, so request patience from your friends and family if you need to cancel plans or rest more.
Educate on Long COVID.
Providing reputable resources for your loved ones to learn more about Long COVID takes some of the burden off you to teach them.
- CDC – Long Term Effects of COVID-19
- RECOVER – What is Long COVID?
- 2024 Long COVID RISE Symposium at UW
- Bateman Horne Center
- Long COVID Video Series — Long COVID Physio
Encourage support and inclusion.
Offer ways that people can support you, like having flexible plans and advocating for safe COVID practices.
Offer solutions for safer interactions.
If someone wants to spend time with you, offer alternatives that align with your health needs, like virtual meetups, outdoor activities, or smaller group gatherings.
Discussing the Pandemic, COVID-19, and Your Views on Those Topics.
What topics have come up with family and friends about the pandemic? When deciding how to discuss these with other people, you may find that it’s best to just avoid the topic, or you may determine that it’s worth having the conversation (if you have the energy for it). If you want to discuss these topics with someone, consider the following:
Come prepared with research.
Check the latest information around COVID-19 risk in your area and reviewing CDC or your county’s recommendations around masking and physical distancing.
- The CDC provides updates on respiratory virus activity levels (e.g., COVID-19, RSV, and the flu) across the U.S.
- The Sick Times collects information from the CDC and wastewater reporting to provide weekly updates on COVID-19 trends
Set boundaries.
Focus on your comfort level over determining right from wrong – don’t get combative or try to persuade others to share your own core values. If a loved one’s behavior impacts your health, express your concern for both their well-being and your own. It’s ok to say no if an activity would make you feel unsafe.
Be direct.
Explicitly tell your family or friend ahead of time stating your boundaries and why they are important to you.
Acknowledge varied beliefs, opinions, and emotions, such as disappointment.
Differences in opinions are to be expected. Listen closely to understand those who disagree with you, express that you hear and understand their opinions and use language like “I feel” to explain your own opinions.
Discussing Your Illness Course, Symptoms, and the Influence on Your Daily Life.
Talking with your loved ones about how Long COVID has specifically impacted you can help you team up to support each other and find a new “normal” with your chronic illness.
Think about timing.
When might be the best time of day, location, and environment to bring up a topic with someone (e.g., when both of us have energy, aren’t distracted by a busy environment, etc.)
Consider the relationship.
If talking with a boss or a coworker, consider how you may want to keep the conversation on a more professional level, potentially consulting with a vocational counselor for what’s appropriate to share.
Team up.
If you notice a change in what you can do within the household, it may be helpful to team up with family and/or friends to manage household and life tasks in new ways, such as pacing your energy with how you contribute to tasks.
Be mindful of your automatic thoughts.
Unhelpful thoughts may negatively impact communication and mood. Instead of using all-or-nothing thinking (e.g., “I can’t do anything anymore”), stop and try to remember at least one thing you can do. Find another way to communicate your concern that expresses how you’re feeling while opening the conversation to problem-solving together.
Final Thoughts.
Talking about Long COVID is necessary to build your social support network and to get you the help you deserve. Remember that you are worthy of love and friendship despite your illness or disability. Self-compassion is key, and your loved ones want to support you.